Allow me to introduce myself...

"How did I let this happen again?"

-Oprah Winfrey 

Hey everyone.  Thanks for reading my very first entry in my blog, "Tres. On a Diet. Again."

My name is Tres.  I guess you already knew that.  I weigh 262.5 pounds.  I'm much, much unhappy about that.  This means I am only about 19 pounds shy of my weight at it's biggest 7 years ago of 281 pounds.  I subsequently lost about 70 pounds over the next year by diligently sticking to Weight Watchers and managed to keep it off all through high school, and was on cloud nine about it.  Hell, I was so happy about it, I even devoted a whole article about it in the teen newspaper I was involved with at the time.  (Body-image issues was, and still is, a hot-button issue with teens, in my opinion.)  I was so elated that day I was in the Express at Perimeter Mall and tried on a pair of size-34 jeans that I actually shelled out the $60 for them that day, just because.  I was that happy.  I was finally not-fat.  I felt in control of myself.

Then there was college.  And all-you-can-eat dining halls.  Then the freshman fifteen came.  Then the stress of keeping my social life in balance not to mention classes getting harder.  So, then the sophomore sixteen came, and so on.  Suffice it say, college took it's toll on my body.  I think one of the reasons I've battled with my weight so much, especially during college, is because I also found myself battling some inner demons.  And unfortunately, food became my friend, comfort, and even slight addiction.


So, what made me want to write a blog about my battles with the bulge?

Well, I can say that that movie Julie and Julia and hearing Oprah talk about her weight influenced me some.   For some reason, I've always had this knack for using cyberspace as a sounding board for my feelings.  Plus by giving a daily account on how this whole journey is going, I can hold myself a little more accountable for my actions, because I'm requiring myself to air this whole thing out.  Oprah (who you'll probably hear me make reference to a lot because her situation mirrors mine in a lot of ways) said that she doesn't necessarily have a "weight problem", but that she has a "self-care problem that manifests through weight".  I think that's what I have.  I need to take better care of myself.  I need to stop using food as solace, a solution for whatever boredom, or loneliness, or dissatisfaction I'm feeling about my life.  In essence, those feelings, just like the way I deal with them, are only temporary.  If I can take control of my feelings, I can take control of this weight.  I mean, that piece of Popeye's isn't going to make whatever it is I'm feeling at that time go away.

I actually look forward to this whole thing.  I'm sure there will be some trials and tribulations, like pizza night, but hey, it's all good.

So, here's to a happier, healthier, and in-better-shape me.